“It’s Bouquet, Not Bucket!”: The Enduring Brilliance of Hyacinth and Her Most Iconic Keeping Up Appearances Quotes

In the grand halls of British television, few characters stand as tall—or as impeccably accessorized—as Hyacinth Bucket. Or rather, Hyacinth Bouquet, as she unfailingly insists. With her highfalutin airs, tireless social climbing, and that infamous slimline white telephone, Hyacinth remains a comedy legend, three decades after she first appeared on screens in Keeping Up Appearances.

Created by sitcom maestro Roy Clarke and portrayed to perfection by Dame Patricia Routledge, Hyacinth Bucket is a character study in delusion, decorum, and domestic madness. A woman who elevates everyday life into a constant performance of class and superiority, Hyacinth was the self-appointed queen of suburban respectability. Her snobbish declarations and withering commentary provided audiences with some of the most quotable lines in British comedy history.

Here, we revisit and expand on some of Hyacinth’s most memorable lines, exploring the episodes, character dynamics, and cultural undercurrents that made her so unforgettable.

“No, you cannot have a number 24, nor a double portion of 37. This isn’t the Chinese takeaway…”

(Series 1, Episode 1: Daddy’s Accident)

It’s the very first episode, and already we’re introduced to Hyacinth’s obsession with refinement and propriety—particularly as embodied by her prized “private slimline white telephone.” When a stranger dares to dial in and attempt to order takeout, Hyacinth reacts with theatrical outrage. This isn’t just a phone—it’s a symbol of status. And it has no “connection whatsoever to any business or trade… especially not one of foreign extraction!”

This single moment sets the tone for the series: Hyacinth’s world is one of appearances over substance, where every object—be it a telephone or a tea set—is a totem of imagined prestige.

“Rose, you will not commit suicide. I forbid it!”

(Series 1, Episode 2: The New Vicar)

Hyacinth’s younger sister Rose, portrayed with glorious melodrama by Shirley Stelfox and later Mary Millar, is Hyacinth’s worst nightmare—a working-class woman who embraces her sexuality and emotions with abandon. When Rose’s romantic despair threatens to upstage Hyacinth’s well-curated social schedule, she responds with characteristic tone-deafness.

It’s an exchange that borders on farce, but it encapsulates the dynamic at the heart of the show: Hyacinth’s desperate attempts to suppress the chaos of her family in order to preserve her social standing.

“Elizabeth, if you could pass round my Royal Doulton with the hand-painted periwinkles…”

(Series 1, Episode 2: The New Vicar)

Ah, the Royal Doulton. This iconic china pattern—actually “Braganza,” not “periwinkles”—became shorthand for Hyacinth’s refined sensibilities. The way she handles her tea service is like a general orchestrating a military parade. Elizabeth (Josephine Tewson), her timid neighbor and constant tea guest, is usually the unfortunate soul asked to carry the china, and predictably drops a cup or two in nearly every visit.

The line also highlights Hyacinth’s obsession with propriety, and her longing to project an image of inherited aristocracy, even as she clings to mass-produced ceramics.

“Sheridan deserves a father full of executive stress, wearing a bow tie.”

(Series 1, Episode 4: The Charity Shop)

Hyacinth’s unseen son Sheridan—an effete art student with a penchant for questionable housemates—is the apple of her eye. She is entirely blind to his true interests, believing him to be destined for elite greatness. Richard, her long-suffering husband, is often on the receiving end of her disappointment, as she laments his pedestrian job and lack of executive ambition.

This line reveals the social ambitions Hyacinth holds not only for herself, but for her family—ambitions that are constantly undermined by reality.

“I hope you’re not going to spoil things with lower middle-class humour.”

(Series 2, Episode 2: Driving Mrs. Fortescue)

As she attempts to worm her way into the good graces of Mrs. Fortescue, a woman distantly connected to nobility, Hyacinth reveals her disdain for anything she deems too common. This line, casually tossed at Richard, is a microcosm of Hyacinth’s worldview: she sees herself as a cut above, even if reality—and the audience—knows better.

“I once caught Richard playing with a frisbee. He said it’s one he found, but I’ve never been sure.”

(Series 2, Episode 5: Problems with Relatives)

Hyacinth’s horror at the idea of adult whimsy—or worse, working-class leisure—is laid bare here. The idea that her husband might enjoy something as juvenile and common as a frisbee is almost too much to bear. The line is delivered with a mix of suspicion and mortification, underscoring her constant fear that any slip might expose them as less than genteel.

“Now kindly clear this line! There are people of substance in this community who are probably queuing to ring me at this very moment.”

(Series 2, Episode 7: Singing for Emmet)

Once again, the sacred telephone becomes a battleground. For Hyacinth, the phone is her direct line to a better class of people. This quote is not just funny—it’s tragicomic. It betrays her desperation to belong, to be noticed by “people of substance,” even if they’re entirely fictional.

“You remember Elizabeth, from next door. Her husband works abroad somewhere… one of those Arab countries. She drops things.”

(Series 2, Episode 8: The Toy Store)

Hyacinth’s social interactions are often reduced to brief, brutal character sketches. Here, Elizabeth is summarized not as a friend or neighbor, but as a woman whose husband is vaguely exotic and who can’t hold a teacup. It’s a masterclass in backhanded compliments and social microaggressions, delivered with a forced smile and brittle confidence.

“How fares the church worldwide then, vicar? For instance, what is the missionary position in China these days?”

(Series 2, Episode 10: A Picnic for Daddy)

One of the most hilariously inappropriate lines in the entire series, this gem arises from Hyacinth’s attempt to make polite conversation with the local vicar. Entirely unaware of the double entendre, her prim curiosity becomes a moment of unforgettable comedy, leaving the vicar—and the audience—speechless.

“Impulsive Daddy! I hope he’s not going to drive at speeds incompatible with my cut-glass condiment set.”

(Series 2, Episode 10: A Picnic for Daddy)

Daddy, the unpredictable patriarch of Hyacinth’s eccentric family, often escapes without warning. Here, he speeds off with her lunch and, more importantly, her cherished condiment set. Even in moments of chaos, Hyacinth’s concern is not for safety or sanity—but for crystal.

The Legacy of Laughter

Hyacinth Bucket is more than a sitcom character. She is a reflection of our deepest insecurities, our desire to impress, and the absurd lengths to which we’ll go to be seen as someone we’re not. Her quotes, each a pearl of misguided elegance or withering critique, live on in British comedy lore.

In Hyacinth, Keeping Up Appearances gave us a woman who aspired to greatness, was surrounded by madness, and remained blissfully unaware of the gap between the two. And in doing so, the series—and Dame Patricia Routledge—gifted the world with a character as timeless as she is quotable.

Because when all else fails, there’s always the Royal Doulton—with the hand-painted periwinkles.